“Strange Royal Wedding Gifts - Mental Floss” plus 1 more |
| Strange Royal Wedding Gifts - Mental Floss Posted: 29 Aug 2019 10:46 AM PDT Although many royal couples, including the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, shy away from traditional wedding gifts and instead ask for charitable donations to be made in their names, that still doesn't stop the barrage of often fairly bizarre and random non-registry gifts sent by well-wishers (royals—they're just like us!). Looking back through the history books, it seems that giving unusual wedding presents to royal newlyweds is nothing new. Below are 40 strange wedding gifts given to several happy royal couples, dating all the way back to ancient Egypt. 1. A tandem bike Dominic Lipinski, WPA Pool/Getty Images When the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge—then Prince William and Kate Middleton—married in 2011, the then-Mayor of London (and current prime minister) Boris Johnson gifted the couple a tandem bike in the style of the city's then-relatively new bike-share program. "I look forward to seeing the newlyweds on tandem wheels as they start their new life in Anglesey," Johnson told a crowd in Trafalgar Square on the day. Not a bad gift for the sporty couple, but no one has seen them out riding it. 2. A cocker spaniel Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William, Duke of Cambridge pose for a photograph with their son, Prince George of Cambridge, and Lupo, the couple's cocker spaniel. Michael Middleton, WPA Pool/Getty Images Like Harry and Meghan, William and Kate had requested that donations be made to a charitable fund bearing their names—among the organizations they sent contributions to were the Canadian Coast Guard Auxiliary, an anti-bullying campaign, and the Zoological Society of London. Nevertheless, Kate's brother, James, couldn't resist giving the happy couple a black cocker spaniel puppy, Lupo, who is now a beloved member of the family. 3. A Land Rover Christopher Furlong, Getty Images One physical gift that Wills and Kate received that went straight to charity was a Land Rover Defender 110 Utility Wagon. Prince William—who is the patron of the Mountain Rescue England and Wales organization—wrote the names of 50 different mountain rescue teams from across the country on slips of paper and asked Prince Harry to pick one out at random. The car was ultimately awarded to a team based in Patterdale in the English Lake District. 4. A kayak Ian Gavan, Getty Images Prince Carl Philip of Sweden and his wife Sofia Hellqvist (now Princess Sofia) are well known for their love of the outdoors, and were gifted a two-seater kayak by the Swedish government on behalf of the people of Sweden for their wedding in 2015. Naturally, they also received their very own nature reserve in Värmland, the region in which they are the Duke and Duchess, in which to try it out. 5. A tennis court ODD ANDERSEN, AFP/Getty Images When Crown Prince Frederik and Mary of Denmark wed in 2004, the Danish municipality of Sønderborg gave the couple a tennis court and pavilion at Gråsten Castle, the summer residence of the Danish royals. 6. A poem CHRIS ISON, AFP/Getty Images Tradition dictates that the British Poet Laureate pen a new poem to celebrate each royal wedding, which led Andrew Motion to write "Spring Wedding" in 2005 to celebrate the marriage of Prince Charles and Camilla Parker Bowles (now the Duchess of Cornwall). The poem was met with mixed reviews: Given the couple's history, some thought lines mentioning "winter-wreckage" and "the heart which slips" weren't quite appropriate. 7. A giant jigsaw puzzle of the bride and groom ODD ANDERSEN, AFP/Getty Images When Felipe, Prince of Asturias (now King Felipe VI of Spain) married Letizia Ortiz Rocasolano in 2004, the people of the Asturian capital Oviedo sent them a gigantic jigsaw puzzle depicting their portrait. It was assembled by visitors to a local shopping mall. 8. A "stop smoking" course Anthony Harvey, Getty Images When Crown Prince Haakon, heir to throne of Norway, married Mette-Marit Tjessem Høiby in Oslo in 2001, one of the gifts reportedly sent to the couple was a course on how to quit smoking, intended to curb the bride's smoking habit. 9. A private Whitney Houston concert Brunei's royal weddings have a ceremony that takes place in the Throne Chamber of the Istana Nurul Iman palace. Bernard Spragg NZ, Flickr // Public Domain When the eldest daughter of the Sultan of Brunei, Princess Rashidah, married Pengiran Anak Abdul Rahim Pengiran Kemaludin in 1996, her uncle Prince Jefri Bolkiah hired Whitney Houston to perform as a gift for the happy couple. According to some accounts, Houston was paid $1 million for the gig—but others claim the notoriously profligate Prince Jefri handed Houston a blank check and asked her to fill out whatever figure she felt she was worth: a cool $7 million. 10. A song by Elton John Rumor has it that when the UK's Prince Andrew, Duke of York, married Sarah Ferguson in 1986, Elton John wrote a song especially for the occasion. As a longtime friend of the royal family, John had also performed at Andrew's 21st birthday in 1981 and at his bachelor party. 11. One ton of peat STR/AFP/Getty Images When Prince Charles married Lady Diana Spencer in 1981, they received a number of traditional gifts, including paintings, jewelry, a four poster bed, and an art deco Cartier clock. Charles's interest in agriculture was picked up on by a local village council in Somerset, in southwest England, who opted to send the prince one ton of high-quality peat for use on his Gloucestershire estate. 12. A "really lovely rug" Fox Photos, Hulton Archive/Getty Images When Princess Anne, Queen Elizabeth II's daughter, married Captain Mark Philips in 1973, the members of the British Cabinet all pitched in and bought the couple a rug. Like many office-pooled gifts, every member of the Cabinet contributed an equal share—which private papers later revealed to be just £10.53 each. The princess wrote each member a personal note thanking them "most warmly" for "a really lovely rug." When it was revealed that President Nixon and the U.S. government had sent the couple a solid crystal bowl and four gold candlesticks, Principal Private Secretary to the Prime Minister Sir Robert Armstrong wryly commented, "This makes an old Persian rug look pretty crumby." 13. A 147-foot yacht (that you can holiday on today) AFP, Getty Images Shipping magnate Aristotle Onassis—future husband of Jackie Kennedy—gave Prince Rainier of Monaco and Princess Grace (a.k.a. Hollywood actress Grace Kelly) a 147-foot yacht, the Arion, as a wedding present in 1956. They honeymooned on it off the coast of Corsica and Sardinia; it's now a luxury floating hotel operating in the Galapagos Islands. 14. The ingredients for a wedding cake AFP, Getty Images Wartime rationing was still in place in Great Britain when Princess Elizabeth, now Queen Elizabeth II, married Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten, now Prince Philip, in 1947. To get around the food shortages, the Australian Girl Guides Association chose to gift the couple the ingredients they would need for their wedding cake. 15. A box of apples AFP, Getty Images Rationing didn't stop the British public from giving Princess Elizabeth and Prince Philip presents either. In addition to a box of home-grown apples, the royal couple were also sent 500 tins of pineapple, two dozen handbags, 12 bottles of sloe gin, and 131 pairs of nylon stockings. 16. A hand-spun lace tray cover (that looked like a loin cloth) STR, AFP/Getty Images Elizabeth's wedding was just two months before 78-year-old Mahatma Gandhi's death, and the famed activist sent the couple an Indian lace tray cover that he wove himself. Reportedly, Elizabeth's grandmother, Queen Mary, thought it was a loin cloth. 17. A nationwide amnesty In the late 19th century, the Imperial Chinese government celebrated the wedding of two members of its ruling Qing Dynasty by enacting a 20-day nationwide amnesty in their honor, during which no one would be punished for any crime. On the day of the wedding itself, the entire population of the Empire was mandated to wear red and green clothing. 18. A half-ton wheel of cheese When Queen Victoria married Prince Albert in 1840, one of the couple's wedding gifts was one of the largest wheels of cheese in British history. Measuring more than 9 feet across, weighing in at more than 1000 pounds, and made from the milk of 750 cows, the cheese was prepared for the occasion by villages in Somerset. And befitting the happy occasion, a cheesy song was written as well:
19. A mini chateau The funerary monuments (not the graves) of King Louis XVI and Queen Marie Antoinette at the Basilica of Saint Denis, France. When 15-year-old Dauphin Louis-Auguste (later Louis XVI) of France married 14-year-old Marie Antoinette in 1770, he gave her Le Petit Trianon, a three-story miniature chateau set in the grounds of the palace of Versailles, as a wedding present. "This pleasure house is yours," he reportedly told her. In the uneasy first years of their marriage, the future queen spent much of her time at Trianon, and though Louis would join her for dinner, he never spent the night there (which likely contributed to their not consummating the marriage for seven years). 20. An opera William IV, Prince of Orange, his wife, Anne of Hanover, and their children Carolina and William V. When Prince William of Orange (later William IV) married Anne of Hanover in 1734, the composer George Frederic Handel composed Parnasso in festa, a three-part Italian serenata, to mark the occasion. Handel also composed a wedding anthem for the bride; though he disliked serving as a music teacher, he had made an exception for her when she was a child, calling her a "flower of princesses." 21. A feast made entirely of sugar (and a sugar replica of the groom) Hulton Archive, Getty Images When King Henry IV of France married Marie de'Medici in 1600, he presented her with a grand Florentine banquet of fish and roast meats—at least at first glance. Turns out, the feast was made entirely from sugar. The groom perhaps took the European love of sugar a bit too far. Their ceremony was a wedding-by-proxy; in his stead, Henry sent a near life-size sugar replica of himself riding a horse. 22. A gold cup designed by Hans Holbein When Henry VIII married his third wife, Jane Seymour, in 1536 (just 11 days after Anne Boleyn was beheaded), he gave her a solid gold drinking cup designed by German Renaissance master Hans Holbein as a wedding present (Holbein was the court artist; many of the most famous portraits done of the Tudors were by Holbein). Alas, all that remains of Queen Jane's gift is a sketch of it: Charles I pawned the cup in 1625 and had it melted down four years later. 23. A book of French romances and an essay on warfare Detail of the illuminated miniature on the presentation page of the Talbot Shrewsbury Book, showing the donor, John Talbot, 1st Earl of Shrewsbury, presenting the book as a gift to Margaret of Anjou and Henry VI. When Margaret of Anjou married Henry VI of England in 1445, John Talbot, the Earl of Shrewsbury, who had accompanied her on her journey from Normandy to London, presented her with a book of illuminated French poems, folktales, romances, and political treatises. The Talbot Shrewsbury Book, as it's now known, also contains a complete list of statutes governing the Order of the Garter, and several lengthy treatises on warfare, husbandry, and hunting. It was likely perfect bedtime reading for the ambitious new queen of England, especially considering that she often had to rule in Henry's place. 24. Three leopards Hulton Archive, Getty Images King Henry III is credited with establishing much of the royal menagerie that used to be housed at the Tower of London. In 1235, to mark his betrothal to Eleanor of Provence, he was given three leopards (or possibly lions) to add to his collection by the Holy Roman Emperor, Frederick II. 25. An entire town "King Solomon with his wives at table," by Anton Koburger, 1491. Hulton Archive, Getty Images According to the biblical 1st Book of Kings, when King Solomon married the daughter of the Egyptian pharaoh sometime in the mid-10th century BCE, the pharaoh conquered the Canaanite town of Gezer in the Judean Mountains, massacred its people, and gifted it to his daughter as a dowry. 26. A pair of koalasWhen Prince Harry and Meghan Markle married in May 2018, they requested that in lieu of gifts, friends and family donate to one of seven handpicked charities, including an HIV charity, a coastal ecology charity, and a fund for children who have lost parents in military service. That, however, didn't stop a handful of well-wishers from doing both—among them, the regional assembly of New South Wales. In addition to making a donation to a local conservation charity in their honor, premier of New South Wales Gladys Berejiklian had two baby koalas at the Taronga Zoo in Sydney named after the couple "as a gift from the people of New South Wales." 27. A bespoke James Bond-style cigarette lighterFrench president Emmanuel Macron also broke the Duke and Duchess of Sussex's embargo on personal gifts, and presented the couple with a bespoke gift set from ST Dupont's 007 collection, including two engraved James Bond-style pens and a matching cigarette lighter. The gift had precedent, though: When the future Queen Elizabeth II married Prince Philip in 1947, the royal couple were gifted a Dupont travel case by then French president Vincent Auriol, and the tradition has been maintained ever since. 28. A one-ton Indian bullOf all the gifts the Duke and Duchess of Sussex received in 2018, however, perhaps the most unique was news that PETA had adopted a one-ton malnourished Indian bullock on their behalf. Named Merry (an amalgam of Harry and Meghan, of course), the bull now sees out its days in an animal sanctuary in Maharashtra. 29. A pair of solid silver kiwisWhen Princess Margaret, Elizabeth II's younger sister, married society photographer Anthony Armstrong-Jones in 1960, many Commonwealth countries sent wedding presents as a sign of their best wishes. Among them were two solid silver kiwis—one nestling an egg between its legs—that were presented to the couple on behalf of the people of New Zealand. In 2006, four years after Margaret's death, the models were auctioned off for charity in London; despite an early estimate of less than $1000, they eventually sold for £36,000—which would be the equivalent of more than £51,000, or about $66,000 today. 30. An empty plot of land (on a private Caribbean island)After their wedding, Princess Margaret and her new husband—now officially the Earl of Snowden—spent their honeymoon on a six-week Caribbean cruise aboard the Royal yacht Britannia. During that time, the British socialite and aristocrat Colin Tennant (whose wife, Anne Coke, was Margaret's lady-in-waiting) gifted the couple a plot of land on Mustique, the 2-square-mile private island in the Grenadines that he had purchased just two years earlier. Margaret later developed the plot into a private villa called Les Jolies Eaux—"The Beautiful Waters"—where you can now spend the week (if you have a spare $21,000). 31. Two soufflé dishesWhen Princess Mary, the Princess Royal—only daughter of George V, and Elizabeth II's aunt—married Viscount Lascelles in 1922, she gifted her husband a pair of antique soufflé dishes. Princess Mary, incidentally, put most of her collection of wedding gifts on display at Buckingham Palace, and used the proceeds the exhibition raised to purchase Foxlease Hall, the headquarters of the Girl Guide Association. 32. A seat in the royal boxWhen the Russian princess Irina Romanov married her sweetheart Felix Yusupov in February 1914, Tsar Nicholas II reportedly asked his new son-in-law what he would like as a wedding gift. Yusupov requested a seat in the Imperial box in the Marinsky Theatre in St. Petersburg. 33. A bag of 29 uncut diamondsWhile Felix took his seat in the Tsar's box at the theater, Princess Irina was given a pouch of 29 uncut diamonds, each weighing between three and seven carats. These—plus the countless other precious stones the couple were gifted as wedding presents—helped maintain them financially during their life in exile after the Russian Revolution in 1917. 34. A diamond-encrusted fanBesides her own mini-chateau, another lavish (but slightly more practical) wedding present Marie Antoinette received from Louis XVI was a diamond-encrusted fan, presented to Marie on her wedding day along with an ornate cabinet full of jewels and gemstones. 35. A quaichWhen King James VI of Scotland married Anne of Denmark in 1589, he presented her with a traditional Scottish quaich—a type of shallow, dual-handled drinking bowl. Quaichs have been a traditional wedding gifts in Scotland ever since. 36. Five notebooks (including one that belonged to the husband's ex-wife)Henry VIII went on to marry his fifth wife, Catherine Howard, just three weeks after his fourth marriage (to Anne of Cleves) was annulled in July 1540. As a wedding gift, he presented Catherine with a set of five miniature jewel-encrusted notebooks, or "girdle-books." Unfortunately, arranging a wedding in less than a month apparently doesn't leave much for checking little things, like whether or not you and your ex-wife's initials are still embossed on the wedding present you've just given to your new spouse. Yes, one of the books in Catherine's collection had the letters "H." and "I." in black enamel on the front cover, suggesting the book had probably originally been a gift from Henry for Jane Seymour (I standing in for J in the Tudor-period alphabet). Alas, re-gifting her his dead wife's possessions wasn't even the worst thing Henry did to poor Catherine: Their marriage lasted just a little over a year, and in February 1542—on a trumped up charge of adultery with her distant cousin, Thomas Culpepper—Catherine was executed at the age of 19. 37. A small wooden chest engraved with knotted thistlesIn 2014, a fairly unassuming oak chest owned by an amateur furniture collector from Aberdeen, Scotland, was actually found to be a priceless 500-year-old royal heirloom. The chest's unusual engravings—featuring a lover's-knot made of entwined thistles—matched those in the Book of Hours of James IV of Scotland, a devotional prayer book published to mark James's marriage to Margaret Tudor, the eldest daughter of the Henry VII of England (and the older sister of Henry VIII). Their so-called "Thistle and the Rose" marriage in August 1503 united the Tudor and Stuart dynasties after decades of conflict, and the chest was apparently commissioned as a wedding gift to mark the occasion. 38. An orange treeAccording to legend, to celebrate the marriage of Louis XII of France to his second wife, Anne, the Duchess of Brittany, the Spanish queen Leonora of Castile gifted the couple an orange tree in 1499, which the king had planted in the gardens of his palace in Paris. The tree's fruit—thought to be an early cultivar of either blood or navel oranges—proved immensely popular, and were soon being grown and sold all across Paris and beyond. 39. A personalized book of psalms.It's fair to say that Edward II and Queen Isabella of France didn't have the easiest of marriages. After all, few healthy marriages tend to involve the husband being embroiled in romantic relationships with his male courtiers, and the wife being questionably implicated in her husband's gruesome murder. But despite those ups and downs, Edward and Isabella did at least keep up appearances by lavishing a great many expensive gifts on one another. Royal records show that Edward showered his young wife in gemstones and jewelry throughout their marriage; had her carriage fitted with extra cushions during her pregnancies; and, in return, Isabella continued to send the king gifts and letters, even after his deposition and eventual imprisonment in the 1320s. Of all the presents the couple gave each other, however, perhaps the most remarkable is an illuminated books of psalms that Edward apparently gifted Isabella on their wedding in 1308. The book, known as the Isabella Psalter, depicts the queen in various biblical and religious scenes throughout its 280 highly decorated pages. 40. The deposed Emperor of CyprusRichard the Lionheart—a.k.a. the 12th century English king Richard I—spent so much time reconquering the Holy Land, that barely six months of his 42-year reign was actually spent in England. (It's even unclear, for that matter, whether he ever found time to learn to speak English.) Richard's preoccupation with the Crusades also meant that, for their wedding day to go ahead, his young wife-to-be, Berengaria of Navarre, was compelled to meet him halfway: In 1191, she sailed from her home in northeast Spain and caught up with Richard on the island of Cyprus. There, the couple—who had never met before—were finally wed in a tiny chapel in Limassol. Before Richard continued on his Crusade, however, he had just enough time to depose the tyrannical self-styled "Emperor" of Cyprus, Isaac Comnenos, and claim the island for England. According to tradition, having promised Isaac that he would not imprison him in irons, Richard had the emperor wrapped in gold and silver chains instead—and then presented him to his new queen as a rather unorthodox wedding gift. |
| Posted: 16 Nov 2019 12:00 AM PST Partying till dawn, lie-ins till lunchtime, waited on by an army of flunkies… The Crown's portrayal of PRINCESS MARGARET has made her a poster girl for gin-fuelled hedonism. But was it all that much fun? Sophia Money-Coutts tries her silky PJs and extra-strength cigarettes for size Princess Margaret makes an unlikely cultural pin-up. A complex character, as portrayed in Netflix's The Crown (back on our screens with series three today), she could be wickedly amusing one minute but bitter and brutally rude the next. Yet she's recently become a cult heroine – applauded and celebrated online – for her devil-may-care attitude and languorous approach to life, spending her mornings drifting from bed to bath before drinking and smoking all afternoon and well into the night. In an age where we rush from alarm clock to bus to office to spin class and then crawl home again, Princess Margaret's lethargy seems almost admirable. But what was a day as the princess – as detailed in Craig Brown's glorious biography Ma'am Darling – actually like? Should we really all #BeMoreMargaret? Well, up to a point, but it was harder work than it looked. Especially on her poor old liver...  Sophia Money-Coutts tries Princess Margaret's silky PJs and extra-strength cigarettes for size in an effort to live a day in the life of the rebel royal. Pyjamas, Yolke.   Dressed for the day – next stop lunch at the Ritz… or in Sophia's case the local pub (left) DRESS, REJINA PYO, BROWNSFASHION.COM. COAT, CARDIN, WILLIAM VINTAGE. HAT, LOCK & CO. NECKLACE, JON RICHARD AT DEBENHAMS. GLOVES, DENTS, BAG, LAUNER. Sunglasses, £680, Boucheron.com.; The real pearly princess: Margaret in 1955 during her tour of the Caribbean (right)
Morning soak & smoke 9am Wake up and feel instantly guilty at the late hour. So idle! Office workers will already be at their desks eating sad pots of porridge. Remind myself to be more Princess Margaret and less worried about the little people. Margaret was always woken at nine by a servant carrying in papers and breakfast on a tray. But scrambled eggs weren't on the menu (too common!); instead she only ate 'buttered eggs'. Am momentarily annoyed that I don't have a servant, so I text my flatmate demanding that he goes to Tesco for bread and eggs. And newspapers. And cigarettes, since Margaret chain-smoked in bed all morning, like a posh Dot Cotton. 9.06am Flatmate texts back. 'You joking? No. But you can borrow my vape if you like.' 9.22am Go to Tesco myself, come back with supplies. Google 'buttered eggs'. Turns out it means scramble them with 'two to three tablespoons of butter'. Go back to bed with plate of eggs, newspapers, mug of tea and packet of Chesterfield Blue (Margaret smoked up to 60 Chesterfields a day, despite royal physicians' pleas for her to give them up). Flick on radio. 10.15am Have read all the papers, even the boring bits about takeover bids at the back, and scattered them around my bedroom floor as Margaret did because someone else would pick them up for her. My tea has gone cold and there are crumbs in my sheets. Try my first Chesterfield, smoked through my grandmother's old Cartier cigarette holder. Exhale first drag through narrow gap in bedroom window. Feel sick, throw rest of fag outside into garden. Get back under my duvet because I have to stay here until 11am when Princess Margaret actually got up. Two hours in bed every morning might sound dreamy but I feel a creeping sense of shame at having achieved so little. Wonder if she ever developed bed sores? 11am Morning bath, run for Margaret by her lady's maid. Debate texting my cleaner to see if she'd pop over to turn on the taps, then decide she probably has better things to do. Run bath by myself. Myself! Get in and try to channel the glamour of Princess Margaret when she was famously photographed in the bath wearing a tiara by her husband – Antony Armstrong-Jones, who became the Earl of Snowdon on their marriage – in the early, happy days of their relationship. 11.52am Have been in the bath so long my fingers have gone wrinkly, but I need to stay in character for another eight minutes.
Lunchtime snifters & bickers Midday Despite having been awake for three hours, only now would Margaret choose her clothes and jewellery for the day. She never wore her clothes more than once without having them cleaned (with her cigarette habit, they were literally 'smoked'), and her cigarette lighters were polished every morning, too. In her youth, thanks in part to her picky eating habits, Margaret had a fabulous hourglass figure with a 23-inch waist. Alas, mine is slightly larger, but I heave myself into a 1950s satin suit. For the purposes of this role, I have borrowed various natty couture numbers and The Dorchester has allowed me into its Oliver Messel suite, decorated by the flamboyant, 20th-century stage designer. Designed in 1953, the suite looks like a set itself – think rich yellow wallpaper, maroon furniture, gilt mirrors, doors painted with flowery murals and (my personal favourite) a gold, scalloped loo seat. It is perfect to prance about in as Margaret (especially as it comes with a secret glass bar, hidden behind a bookshelf), and very apt, since Messel was Snowdon's uncle and later designed Margaret's beloved house in Mustique. In London, Margaret's hairdresser René would sometimes visit her at Clarence House in the morning. Later, after she was married, her driver of 26 years, David Griffin, would often take her to a hair salon in South Audley Street, in London's Mayfair, before lunch. I back-brush my hair into a wobbly beehive. Never mind if it's a bit Amy Winehouse.   A quick ciggie and pre-dinner tipple... Sophia could get used to being Margaret (left) DRESS, PART OF BALMAIN SUIT, WILLIAM VINTAGE. EARRINGS, LARK & BERRY. RING, DINNY HALL.; The princess in 1957, puffing one of her 60 cigarettes a day: 'She must have had very bad breath,' says Sophia (right) 12.30pm First drink! Pour myself a vodka and orange since Margaret often had her first 'pick-me-up' around now. Important to maintain vitamin C levels, after all. If not vodka, it might be gin and tonic or whisky. When she lived with the Queen Mother at Clarence House, Margaret would come downstairs for this drink, before an 'informal' four-course lunch served on silver dishes, plus a cheeseboard and half a bottle of wine. She was often foul to her mother. According to biographer Anne de Courcy, she berated the Queen Mother's wardrobe ('Why do you dress in those ridiculous clothes?'), and if she found her downstairs in front of the television, 'Princess Margaret would simply switch it to another channel without a word if she did not like what the Queen Mother was watching'. After Margaret had married in 1960 and moved to Kensington Palace, she often lunched for up to three hours at the Ritz or a 'nice restaurant' such as Maggie Jones's, named after her, tucked behind the palace. I text my mother telling her I've already had two drinks and am going out for lunch with friends. 'Darling,' she replies instantly, 'are you OK?' 1pm Meet friends at a pub near Holland Park. Order a bottle of wine before I even sit down. 'What should we call you?' asks my friend Dave, when I explain that I am being Margaret for the day. 'Ma'am,' I tell him firmly, as Margaret insisted most of her friends did. Another friend, Amy, has brought her baby to the pub, so I spy an opportunity for a Princess Margaret-style slap-down and ask if he's said his first word yet. For someone who seemed curiously unmaternal, Margaret once scoffed at a friend who claimed their child's first word was 'Mama' by declaring that her son's was 'chandelier'. Amy looks peeved and says, no, he hasn't said anything yet. 1.15pm Margaret generally liked plain food – 'lamb or chicken in watery gravy' – so I order the chicken. Ask waiter if it comes with any 'disgusting' sauces, since Margaret was often rude about food and once described a chicken dish as 'looking like sick.' Waiter sighs and tells me the sauce can come 'on the side'. 2pm Eat half my chicken and ignore the potatoes. This is almost impossible since I am exceptionally greedy. At friends' houses, if Margaret refused certain dishes – such as potatoes – the hosts might withdraw the offending food altogether so nobody else could eat it. Fellow guests were also supposed to stop eating when she'd finished, meaning that those who ate slowly had to leave half their plate. She often chain-smoked throughout meals and would leave her cigarette holder, ash burning at the end, leaning on a side plate. But on no account should you have offered to light a cigarette for her. 'You don't light my cigarette, dear. Oh no, you're not that close,' she told Sir Derek Jacobi, the actor, when he once sat next to her and held up a lighter during a dinner in Covent Garden.  'Does my tiara look big in this?' wonders Sophia. Princess Margaret has recently become a cult heroine for her devil-may-care attitude and languorous approach to life. TIARA, Butler & Wilson  Scrubbing up well: Helena Bonham Carter as Princess Margaret in the latest season of the crown 3pm The bottle of wine is finished, so I demand that we order a bottle of sauternes pudding wine and a cheeseboard. Feel very perky after so much wine and try another Chesterfield. It still makes me feel sick. Suspect that Margaret must have had very bad breath. 4pm Go home again and email my sister ahead of her birthday dinner party tonight to ask about the place à table (she despised the word 'placement'), saying I need the best seat at the table since I'm being Princess Margaret. 'But it's my birthday,' she replies. 'I know,' I text back. 'But I am a princess.' She doesn't answer. 5.30pm Drink gin and tonic while I get ready for dinner. All this drinking has made my eyeliner very skewwhiff. Put on pink party dress, plastic tiara I bought from a toy shop and long-sleeved, kidskin evening gloves. Spend ten minutes trying to fasten the fiddly pearl buttons on my gloves, swearing and wishing that I had a lady's maid. Realise it is impossible to do anything by yourself once you have leather evening gloves on. Even holding a cigarette holder is awkward. How on earth did she manage in the loo?  Suit, Balmain, William Vintage. Earrings, Lark & Berry. Bag, Launer. Shoes, Manolo Blahnik.
Whisky & frisky tricks 7.30pm Arrive at sister's for dinner party. She immediately asks why I'm wearing a tiara. 'Because I'm being Princess Margaret,' I tell her. 'Oh yes,' she says. 'I forgot. Would you mind helping pass round the crisps?' 7.51pm 'Would you like a glass of champagne?' asks my brother-in-law. He has bought several bottles of expensive Louis Roederer champagne especially for tonight. Margaret preferred wine to champagne so I wrinkle my nose. 'No, I expect it tastes exactly like petrol,' I say, deploying the snarky line Margaret once used when offered a glass of precious 1836 madeira by a friend. My brother-in-law bows and backs away, looking suitably cowed. Ha!  Being Margaret might look very glam but, says Sophia, doing anything – including visiting the loo – is virtually impossible with gloves on. Dress, Givenchy. Brooch, William Vintage. Tiara, Butler & Wilson. Earrings, Annoushka. 8.35pm Sit down for dinner. Ask if they have bottled Malvern water, the only water Margaret would drink with her whisky. 'No, sorry, only tap,' says my sister. 'I'll just have wine then,' I say, trying to sound cross. 10.04pm Princess Margaret had a short concentration span and adopted a zero tolerance policy towards conversation she deemed boring, so I decide to interrupt a discussion about Brexit at the dinner table. 'This is very dull,' I shout. Turn to one of my sister's friends, a man called Harry, on my right. 'Can you balance a pint glass on your penis?' He mishears me. 'Can I balance a night bus on it?' he asks. I cackle with laughter and explain that the pint glass trick was a favourite of John Bindon, a London gangster known as 'Big John' who could supposedly hang five half-pint glasses off his, ahem, manhood. He was rumoured to be one of Princess Margaret's lovers in later life and was photographed next to her on the beach in Mustique.  The party girl herself… photographed at Buckingham palace by Cecil Beaton in 1951 for her 21st birthday 11.20pm Realise that being Princess Margaret is not only aimless, it is simultaneously exhausting. I'm desperate to go home to bed but I can't, since Margaret often stayed up until 4am, smoking, dancing, drinking and playing games. In an effort to stay awake, I suggest a game of Bananagrams. Margaret once became so infuriated during a game of Trivial Pursuit that she tossed the board in the air, sending everyone's pieces flying. As a deeply competitive person myself, I sympathise. Am annoyed when my brother says I can't have 'India' since it's a proper noun. 12.15am As everyone starts leaving, my sister says I have to go home, too. Am secretly delighted that I don't have to stay up any later. Margaret's chauffeur would shuttle her back to Kensington Palace so I order an Uber. I have drunk my weekly booze allowance, am tired, hungry and feel a pang of guilt at having spent my day so frivolously. My mouth feels like a furry dustbin. Get into the Toyota Prius, forgetting that I'm still wearing my plastic tiara. 'I like the hat,' says my driver. I don't think he gets it at all.
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