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wanted for questioning and possible shooting

i am going to issue an arrest warrant for drew barrymore's hair dresser. he is wanted in connection with this badger looking monster of a hairstyle. anyone with any information should call immediatly. he is considered armed with bleach and dangerous to hair. 
he is also wanted in connection of the loss of drew barrymore's sanity. we are conducting interviews to see where it was lost and how we can get it back to her.

drew love, take some advice. get a razor and do a britney fast.  i used to do this to my hair when i was 15 and even then i looked better then this.  you look like shit and people are laughing. i know you havent had a decent film since donnie darko and god love you, adam sandler wouldnt even hire you but, your not making it any easier.
shave.
it.
off.
now.

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